Flip a Coin

Sometimes when we need to make a decision, it's easier to let fate decide for us by, you guessed it, flipping a coin. Do I want to play Wingspan or Expeditions? Coin flip. Do I want to eat hot dogs or hamburgers for dinner tonight? Coin flip. Do I want to suffer through an anxiety inducing existential meltdown and panic apply to a job in which the only attractive qualities of it are that I'd be an exceptional fit and could make new friends and earn some extra pocket money, or do I want to buckle down on becoming an entrepreneur from my hermit hole and, with what time I have available, continue honing the skills, products, and/or services I could provide to others while building my own business? Coin fli--well...

What's interesting about flipping a coin as an alternative to simply making that binary decision for ourselves is that many times, just through the act of actually flipping the coin, we can determine which outcome we really want. Sometimes it really is 50-50, where we could be happy with either option, but the insight into our true preference otherwise becomes clear during those few seconds while the coin is spinning in the air. We cross our fingers, hoping, 'Tails. Tails. Let it be tails,' revealing the other option to simply be an illusion of desire. Profound.

Sometimes, however, the coin toss is simply proverbial. Let me use the third oddly specific hypothetical situation from the first paragraph as an example. On one side, we'll call it heads, you have the option, 'Apply for a job to earn extra cash and make new friends.' On the other, the tails side, you have the option, 'Trust that you can build connections by honing your skills and eventually branching out while knowing that it's just going to take time.'

Maybe the heads side seems incredibly appealing because your day-to-day is repetitive and you want to shake things up in a grandiose way, even if it means surrendering the autonomy you've taken for granted the past however many years to meet the expectations of The Boss. If the job doesn't jibe with your values or wasn't what you were expecting when you signed aboard, you could always quit. Does it hurt your credibility for applying elsewhere? Maybe, but we live in a world that is changing faster than the cycle of the seasons.

On a whim, you follow the advice of Austin Belcak and construct a short e-mail to the influencer for the prospective job that's caught your eye, following the suggestions for how to approach the position if you don't have connections within the field of interest. You compose the e-mail, type in the receiver's e-mail address, copy-paste, and hit send.

This is when that proverbial coin flips.

It's the weekend. You know the prospective employer won't respond to your e-mail until at least the next day, providing you ample time and opportunity to ruminate on your decision and begin questioning whether or not it was the "right" decision. You think about how now you need to construct some clever questions to glean more information about the work atmosphere and learn about the people for whom you'd be working. Maybe you should update your resume as well, but the soul-sucking process of figuring out how to account for your employment gap rattles you further as you scour templates, suggestions, and guides for adding personality to an otherwise dry document. 'Like seriously, do employers even rely on such inefficient methods of hiring still?' you may wonder. 'Where's the evidence for creativity, for example, when one page looks the same as another?'

The coin reaches its apex, its surface glinting rhythmically as it catches the rays of the sun.

You start to panic. Maybe this wasn't the right decision after all. Is earning a bit of extra money and the potential-but-not-guaranteed friends worth the anxiety of meeting someone else's expectations other than your own, which are already higher than most? You remind yourself that it's just an experiment, but by investing in this experiment, you lose the precious time you value so deeply in pursuing your own endeavors. You'd have to work into the night to finish even a modicum of what you complete throughout the day, but until you start earning an income from the work you put into the actual skills most important to you, your endeavors are just "hobbies." Society values how much money you make, and if you're not earning that sweet, sweet dough, then your value is that of a failure.

(As a side note, I can't tell you how often I've heard, for example, "Oh, but are you making money for that?" from certain family members who seem baffled by the idea that, "No, this is just for our game group and likely won't be published." Between that and the genuine lack of interest from the people who are supposed to care but who are too busy scrolling on their laptops, phones, or tablets can hurt immensely and lead to a reciprocated lack of interest and feeling of aloofness.)

The coin falls.

You swing hard in the opposite direction, a fire lit under your butt to determine just what it is you want from your tiny mote of a business-in-the-making. Forget the resume. You're going to take the plunge and join Skillshare to take advantage of that free month of learning to absorb what you can and then implement it into your approach to your website. Besides, after the curt e-mail telling you that yours was forwarded to the actual person in charge of the hiring process, despite the former's information being the listed contact for questions, and the lack of a follow-up henceforth, maybe that place isn't the type of environment in which you want to work anyway.

The coin lands in your hand, and you don't have to even look at it to know which of your core values won out over the others.

Other Notable Accomplishments

• Transcribed Session 86

• Began writing the journal for the 25th of Uros, but I suspect it's going to be a long one

  • Also, even though I love writing, I struggle with concentration when it comes to my fiction writing. I'm not entirely sure why, though I have my suspicions.

• Cleared out the yard of tree limbs from a bad storm we had recently

• Joined Skillshare and completed 2 classes: Finding Fulfillment: "Using Pivots to Power Your Creative Career" by Emma Breanna & "Build Your Dream Business: Craft Your Purpose and Online Presence" by Isis Breanna

  • My primary issue with these sorts of classes is how much material they try to cover in such a short amount of time. You have these videos that regurgitate stories and tips for what to do generically, occasionally with questions or workbooks listed for you to fill, but what's missing from what would be considered fundamental in an actual classroom is a step-by-step approach with a syllabus laying out precisely how you'll proceed from point A to point K, and the probability that the instructor will actually critique or provide feedback to anything posted is slim, especially as more time passes.

• Will likely be moving to a slightly lighter band here within the next couple of weeks for my pull-ups/chin ups!

This Week's Obligatory Cat Pic: Qiri